Once, i ran from fear; so fear controlled me.
Until i learne to hold fear like a newborn.
Listen to it, but not give in. Honour it, but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me anymore.
I walked with courage into the storm.
I still have fear, but it does not have me.
Once, i was ashamed of who i was.
I invited shame into my heart. I let it burn.
It told me, "I am only trying to protect your vulnerability".
I thanked shame dearly, and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.
Once, I had great sadness, buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And i found joy right there. Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.
Once i had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn´t stop. Thoughts that wouldn´t be silent.
So i stopped trying to silence them.
And i dropped out of the mind, and into the Earth. Into the mud.
Where i was held strong, like a tree, unshakeable, safe.
Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heard pound and my blood boil.
Listend to it, finally.
And i screamed,
"respect yourself fiercely now!"; "Speak your truth with passion!";
"Say no when you mean no!"; "Walk your path with courage!"; "Let no one speak for you!"
Anger became an honest friend. A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.
Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended i was "happy".
But soon i could not run anymore.
And tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And i died and was reborn into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So i was not lonely, but alone with all life.
My heart One with all other hearts.
Once i ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable presence.
In the depths of my wounds, in what i named "darkness",
I found a blazing light
that guides me now in battle.
I became a warrior
when i turned towards myself.
And started listening.
Author: Jeff Foster